The 80’s seem to still be a pretty popular trip down nostalgia lane these days. More so for people who were kids in that era, but still popular with the curious kids of today none the less. While it’s true that we here at TFE dabble in the whole “80’s Nostalgia” theme so to speak, we did our first review of 80’s commercials for a couple of different reasons. When we fist started this site, we had a different outlook for it. We had a shitload of sample sources, and video was one of them. We figured we would throw some old videos from the 80’s up as a filler for some quick content. Low and behold to us, it remains the most viewed and brings in the most questions, more than any other article, or review on our site! Well, basicaly we recieved 1 question, and about 2 people viewed it (thanks Mom and Dad!). Anyhow, we’re back with 3 more commercial’s to get your memory working, or to give you ankle biters a taste of some of the more memorable 1980’s commercials from waaay back in the day!
To start off with, this baby just sticks out in my mind as a commercial that defined the 80’s…well sort of. Who knows,you might remember it as well. This Pepsi commercial aired sometime in the…. I’m guessing mid 80’s, but I could be wrong. Anyway, it takes place on a beach somewhere in “Huge sunglasses and feathered hairville”.
A raido can be heard informing everyone “Listen…. it’s 92 degrees and climbing people….get off the fucking beach, go home, and by the way…Ferris Buler’s not cool anymore”. Just as this is happening, a mysterious white van can be seen driving (pretty quickly I must say) onto the beach, and stops smack dab in the middle of the sweaty, crazed beach goers. Now, normally when an unmarked white van rolls up on the beach going 45 MPH and suddenly parks beside you, most people would get their kids out of the area real quick, in fear of some perverted kidnaper/molester…. but not our care free, loving 80’s folk.
(Is that Corey Haim and Adam Carolla?)
Nobody seems to care at all, as they go about their business loungng in bikini’s, or acting cool for the ladies, strutting around in their “Magnum P.I.” inspired short shorts. After the white van stops, we see a mysterious guy climb out and make for the sliding door on the side….hmmm, I wonder what he’s got in there….
(Note the cool srting attached to his glasses..)
Now, the thing to note here in the commercial is how “80’s” like he gets into his van. He just doesn’t open the side door, and enter by stepping in, this mother fucker hops up, grabs the top and swings in like nobody’s business. Check it out when you watch the video…..you know that shit took like 8 takes alone. Anyhow, he slides up in that bitch, and then we get to see just what this guy has inside the mysterious “Shaggin Wagon”.
What the hell? Who drives around with over $30,000 worth of recordiing equipment in the back of their van? Does he work for the F.B.I.? Is he on a sting?Beats me, but I did notice this dude seriously thinks he is ALOT cooler than he really is. You ever meet anyone like that? You feel bad about how dorky they are at first, but then they act like they’re Brad Pitt in a room full of Larry Appleton’s. Anyway he fiddels around in there for a few seconds, then he hits a switch, and holy shit guess what happenes next….
Speakers pop out of the roof!! That’s right folks, this dude really is cool! They raise up with a “bzzzz” sound that kind of reminds me of the old Short Circuit dude ”Johnny 5″, or some shit like that. After they raise up, we get another look inside dude’s van. He looks all serious now, with headphones on, and he has a microphone next to his pie hole. He’s looks like he’s about to tell everyone on the beach that an asteroid is 10 minutes away from Earth, and they are all doomed….
Just then, he raises something up…..what is it….what could it be….
Ahh, it’s a Pepsi. You know, I was never of big fan of pop, but I do miss the old glass bottles. They just seemed to taste better than plastic or aluminum, or maybe it was just me. Anyway, this guy seems to know just what he’s doing. He holds the Pepsi up too the microphone, and cracks off the cap! People on the beack start to lazily take notice of the sound, wondering what is going on. He then commences to pour the Pepsi into a glass right next to the mic, capturing all of it’s fizz and pop!
Now people are really starting to get interested! I’ll note that at this exact moment the most fucked up part of the commercial takes place…..
This. A dog….wearing some sort of umbrella made to keep the scorching sun out of his eyes, and head. Now, maybe it’s just me, but if it’s like 108 degrees, I probably wouldn’t force my terrier to the beach and make him lay in the sun, and then on top of that, completely degrade him by making him wear this redicilous thing. But hey, it’s the 80’s here, and people do that sort of thing… right? Anyway, the point is that people are all starting to turn there heads to see where the sound of cool refreshment is comming from, even the dog. After this, the guy the starts to drink the pepsi real slow like, savoring every “gulp” for the beach bastards to hear and salavate over…
Now every single hot, sweaty, sand encrusted, thirsty beach person is standing up looking very interested in how to get one of these magical drinks! And now comes the part I think I remember this commercial from the most. The guy finishes with one last “gulp” then smacks his dorky lip’s, proclaiming “Ahhh”, like he just shot his load over drinking a glass of Pepsi.
Now, the hoards of beach bums are swarming towards his van…….just like he planned all along. You see, dorky he may be…but this guy is no schmuck. He had it all planned out from the beginning, as we can all see after he slides open the back of his van, uncovering shitloads of Pepsi cases, throws on a Pepsi hat, and asks with a sly grin..”Now, Who wants some?”
Nice one, Mr. “luring in all the thirsty people at the beach in 100 degree weather by drinking pop through a microphone and smaking your lips” Pepsi guy. Damn that was alot to type. The review can’t do it justice, you have to watch it in all it’s 80’s cliche glory. So here it is folks, enjoy.
Not to be outdone by Pepsi and the coolest guy on earth, Coke had a few surprises of its own in the 80’s! This next commercial will probably be very memorable to everyone, as I’m sure everyone remembers…..Max Headroom! First off, Max Headroom was already a somewhat popular character before the Coke commercials hit, but still most people remember him for the role of the “New” Coke spokesman personality. Headroom was ushering in the sweeter, newer version of coke that hit in 1985. As you might remember, or might not, the slogan was “Catch the wave!”. While this new version turned out to be a bad decision for Coke, Max Headroom remains the most memorable, and generated the most interest from viewers, than any other Coke spokesman. Enough of the history lesson, let’s get on with the commercial.
It starts out in what seems to be the future, or maybe a parallel universe…sometime next week? A strange looking vehicle speeds by, maybe a futuristic garbage truck? As it speeds by it drops something out of the back…
(I circled it John Madden style, for your convenience!)
It’s some sort of square box, that looks somewhat like a TV. After it’s dropped a long, strange looking antenna raises up out of it.
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What could this be? Just what is going on here folks, a strange box, a weird shapped antenna….hmmm, those darn 80’s commercial scripts, always so mysterious! After the antenna raises, we see some kids on bikes riding around coming close to the strange boxed apparatus. As they pull up we get a close up of a couple of them as they look to see what is blocking thier path. This one in particular seems to be the leader of this crusty bunch of kids.
As this happens, the mysterious box suddenly opens up to display a TV screen with some weird controls, and our favorite Coke character..
It’s Max Headroom! Now the kids don’t know this, and they were rightfully startled when Max turned on. He then announces himself in typical Max Headroom way..”This is M…M..M..M..Max Headroom”. In response, the leader of the “bike geeks” replies by saying “Max Headroom…what the fuck are you kidding me? How about I put my moon boot through your pixelated face bitch…I run these streets!”
But Max pays no attention to the kid, instead he notices a strange looking boy…or girl..we’ll call it a he/she. Well, this he/she is drinking a can of Coke, and Max Headroom seems to like this, as he states “Aaah…a Cokeologist…if Coke did that to you, may I suggest Pepsi?”
This starts the kids in a chatter proclaiming “He sees us!”. Max then reminds them “Where there’s a wave, there’s a Coke!”. The leader suddenly decides to like Max, as he states “I like him, I bet if I take him home I can trade him to my parents for some Meth…”
Max blurts out some quippy phrase, and then gets down to business. He starts into the whole reason coke has him on the air. ”You know kids, more people enjoy the taste of Coke to Pepsi?” This seals the deal to the Coke drinking gang of misfits, as a new face from the crew proclaims “Let’s take him home!”
(10 to 1 this dude is still single.)
They scoop Max up and begin to ride home with him strapped to one of their bikes. As they roll out, Max tells us one more time to “Become a Cokeologist”……..”Catch the wave!”
There you have it! A historical run in with the one and only Max Headroom! As stated before my shitty reviews can’t do it justice, so behold the real deal for yourself!
Our last commercial is another Pepsi commercial. I just realized that all three of these commercial’s were all about pop. Oh well, I’ll make up for it when we do another 3 commercials…..that is, if we do. This is seriously taking up to much time, I’ll have to speed this last one up, sorry folks. Anyway, this commercial seems to me to be Pepsi’s version, or copy of, E.T. I believe it came out at the height of E.T.’s popularity, and it shows directly in this one. It starts out with a kid trying to coax his dog over to him so he can buy a refreshment (either Coke or Pepsi as can be seen in the background pop machines).
The dog won’t come, and is acting funny. We then see a very bright light and a spaceship sounding noise and the wind picks up something fierce, as Rover starts to bark!
The wind is blowing and the kid is trying to look to see just what all the commotion is! Just then, we get a glimpse of what is causing the ruckus…
Holy shit, its a gigantic spaceship! I would be running my ass outta there if I was that kid, god knows what would happen if you would get sucked up into that bitch! But this kid, he is more of the curious type, and he watches to see what is going to happen next. The ship shines a light on the pop machines, and the buttons light up briefly, as the alien’s seem to be pondering how to decide what drink to get. Only one way to tell, they sample each one!
Wow, these aliens are brillant! Meanwhile the kid and his dog are looking on bravley trying to see what flavor the beings from another galaxy prefer…
The choice is fairly obvious, as the alien’s suck up the Pepsi Machine right into their ship! The kid is soo thrilled with this, he can’t hide his emotions as he smiles after the Pepsi machine gets lifted out of the area! In a final attempt to communicate with these alien’s, the kid raises his Pepsi can in a kind of universal Pepsi “salute” as the alien’s speed off, only to circle back around and photon blast the kid to all hell.
What you don’t believe me? Check it out for yourselves folks!
Well there you have it, another installment of 80’s commercials! These awlays seem to bring out the memories! By the way, anyone wanting to help contribute to this ridicilous site, hit us up!